Active Listening For Chaplains
Welcome!
My name is Dr. William (Bill) Simmons. I am an APC Board Certified Chaplain and hold a Bachelor's degree in Christian Counseling, a Master of Arts in Pastoral Counseling/Community Chaplaincy, a Master's in Theology, and a Doctor of Ministry in Chaplaincy. I am currently enrolled at Texas Tech University, pursuing a Master of Education in Instructional Technology. The purpose of this degree is to prepare me to be an online seminary instructor. Part of this degree is to create and implement an online course. Thank you for taking the time to take this course.
Class Overview
This class is designed to help chaplains become better ministers by helping them become more active listeners.
Learning Goal and Objectives
Goal: The goal is for learners to become much better, more active, and intentional listeners.
Module 1: You will be able to paraphrase during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
Module 2: You will be able to use reflective listening during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
Module 3: You will be able to summarize during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
Module 4: You will be able to use questions during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
Module 5: You will be able to intentionally focus better during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
Syllabus
Instructor Information
- Instructor: William (Bill) Simmons, D.Min., BCC
- Email: willsimm@ttu.edu (If I don't respond in 24 hours, please send a reminder.)
- Phone: 817-729-7045. (If no answer, please leave a message. I will call back.)
- Class Time: Asynchronous (self-paced)
Course Description
This course introduces students to the basic principles of communication utilizing the art and skill of active listening. Each module will cover a different topic, and each topic is a necessary skill that must be mastered to become a competent communicator. This course is designed for volunteer and professional chaplains; however, the communication skills learned in this course are essential to becoming an intentional and active listener, which is a valuable quality regardless of occupation.
Course Purpose
The purpose of this course is to (a) help chaplains become better ministers by helping them become more active listeners and (b) assist students in demonstrating the core competencies of communication. Students in this course not only equip themselves with the necessary knowledge and skills needed as competent communicators but also develop dispositions needed for a chaplain.
Distinctive Skills
The distinctive skills focused on during the course include
- Paraphrasing
- Using reflective listening
- Summarizing
- Using questions
- Focus
Required Software & Equipment
- Computer with Internet access
- Microphone Headset
- Microsoft Office Suite
- Other software
Important
During each module, students will provide a comment on what they learned during that module, what they will do differently during their ministerial visits and an example of how to use the topic of each module. In order to comment on each module, please click the Comment Button in that module.
What is an active listener?
An active listener is someone who intentionally
listens to understand, not to respond.
Please watch videos
An active listener….
- Is fully present in the conversation
- Makes it clear that they don’t judge
- Maintains good eye contact
- Notices and uses von-verbal cues
- Does not interrupt
- Listens to understand, not respond
- Withholds advice unless asked
- Encourages speaker to continue
Do you do this?
Module 1: Paraphrasing
Objective: You will be able to paraphrase during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
Paraphrasing is…
- Rewriting the sentence in your own words without losing the meaning
- One of the most important part of listening
- Short (1 or two sentences)
Examples of paraphrasing
- What I am understanding is…
- So, you mean…
- It sounds like…
- You seem to…
Why paraphrase?
Paraphrasing can serve several purposes in a conversation. First, it can help you check your
understanding of what the other person said and avoid misunderstandings. By repeating what you heard, you can ask for confirmation or correction if you missed or misinterpreted something. Second, it can show that you are listening attentively and respectfully, and that you care about what the other person is saying. By using your own words, you can avoid sounding like a parrot or a recorder, and show that you are engaged and interested. Third, it can help you empathize with the other person's feelings and emotions, and acknowledge their perspective. By reflecting what the other person said, you can validate their experience and show that you are not judging or criticizing them.
How to paraphrase?
Paraphrasing is not just repeating what the other person said with different words; it requires active listening and careful word choice. To paraphrase effectively, listen carefully to the main points and underlying message, and use your own words to match the tone and level of formality of the speaker. Introduce your paraphrase with a signal phrase, such as "So, what you are saying is...", and keep it concise and accurate. Avoid adding your own opinions, interpretations, or assumptions, and do not distort or omit any important information. End your paraphrase with a question, such as "Is that right?", to invite feedback and confirmation from the speaker.
When to paraphrase?
Paraphrasing can be a helpful tool in a variety of contexts. It can be used to confirm complex, sensitive, or ambiguous topics, as well as to demonstrate interest and engagement in the conversation. Paraphrasing can also be used to empathize with the other person's feelings and emotions, and to summarize and review the conversation to ensure mutual understanding.
When NOT to paraphrase?
Paraphrasing can also have some drawbacks, such as when it is overused or misused, making the conversation sound repetitive, artificial, or patronizing. Additionally, incorrect or inaccurate paraphrasing can change the meaning or the tone of what the other person said, or miss some important details or nuances. Furthermore, inappropriate or insensitive paraphrasing can offend or hurt the other person's feelings, or imply that you are not listening or that you know better. Lastly, paraphrasing when the
other person does not want or need it can interrupt or cut off the flow of the conversation, or prevent the other person from expressing themselves fully.
Module 2: Reflective Listening
Reflective Listening…
- Demonstrates listening and clarifies understanding
- Validates the speaker’s feelings
- Offers a chance for speakers to explain themselves further
- Makes the speaker feel heard
- Increases trust
- Allows communication to flow
- Promotes better conflict resolution
Objective: You will be able to paraphrase during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
What are reflective questions?
Reflective questions are open-ended inquiries that stimulate self-awareness, self-evaluation, and self-learning. These questions are not meant to test, judge, or advise, but instead to encourage the person you are helping to think deeply about their
situation, feelings, actions, and outcomes. Examples of reflective questions include: How do you feel about what happened? What did you learn from this experience? What are the benefits and challenges of your current approach? What alternative
options or perspectives could you consider? And what are your next steps and how will you measure your progress?
Why are they important?
Reflective questions and active listening are essential for creating a trusting and
supportive relationship with the person you are helping. Rather than telling them what to do, these techniques empower them to find their own answers and solutions. Furthermore, they challenge the individual to explore different perspectives and
possibilities, instead of sticking to their comfort zone. Additionally, reflective
questions and active listening motivate them to take action and responsibility, rather than waiting for external factors or excuses. Finally, these methods enhance their confidence and self-efficacy, rather than undermining their potential or capabilities.
How to apply them?
In order to effectively use reflective questions and active listening in your visits, it is important to practice regularly and follow some basic guidelines. Prepare a selection of reflective questions ahead of time that are based on the goals and topics of the
visit, while also being open to adapting to the flow of the conversation. Incorporate both open-ended and closed-ended questions, but stay away from leading or loaded questions. Listen attentively and respectfully without interrupting, judging, or being passive or silent. Utilize appropriate body language and tone of voice to demonstrate interest, empathy, and respect. Additionally, provide constructive and timely feedback or suggestions based on the needs and preferences of the person you are helping, while still allowing them autonomy over their choices.
Empathic listening is a type of active listening that utilizes the interpersonal ability of empathy to understand someone better intellectually and emotionally. Simply put, to be an empathic listener, it is important to show intentional care and concern
toward the speaker as they express their views or feelings. Offering this support as a listener not only allows the speaker to feel validated but can help us generate a more heartfelt response.
Empathetic listening is caring
Module 3: Summarizing
Summarizing…
- Is different than paraphrasing, summarizing can be much longer
- Lets the speaker know they are heard
- Establishes facts and clarifies feelings
- Checks to ensure mutual understanding
- Improves accuracy
- Helps you remember what was said
- Reinforces commitments
- Is what it sounds like
Objective: You will be able to paraphrase during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
What is the difference between paraphrasing and summarizing?
Paraphrasing and summarizing are two techniques that can help you hone your active listening skills and break down the barriers of communication. Paraphrasing
involves restating what the speaker said in your own words, while summarizing means condensing the main points or ideas of the speaker in a concise and clear way. These techniques can be beneficial in a variety of ways: verifying your understanding, demonstrating your interest, validating the speaker's perspective, and encouraging further conversation. Paraphrasing and summarizing can help you check your
understanding, show your interest, encourage the speaker, and enhance the
conversation.
How to summarize effectively?
Summarizing is not just a simple task of providing a brief overview of what was said. It is a skill that requires critical thinking, analysis, and synthesis. To be successful in summarizing, one must listen carefully to the speaker's main points, arguments, or ideas, and try to identify their purpose and message. It is important to use your own words and avoid copying the speaker's exact words, and use concise and clear language to condense their message in your own way. Additionally, it is essential to keep the main points and omit any irrelevant or minor information or details that are not essential to the speaker's message, and not introduce any new or personal opinions or interpretations. Furthermore, it is important to reflect the speaker's perspective and use appropriate words or phrases to indicate them. Finally, after summarizing, it is important to check with the speaker if you captured their message accurately, and invite them to add or modify anything if needed. Active listening is a valuable skill that can improve communication and relationships, but it can also be difficult. By using paraphrasing and summarizing, one can overcome some of the common barriers to active listening, and demonstrate respect, interest, and understanding to the speaker.
Module 4: Asking Questions
Objective: You will be able to use questions during pastoral or ministerial counseling
Asking questions…
- Forces the speaker to share more
- Shows that you are interested
- Provides more insight
- Instills trust
What questions discover...
- Who?
- What?
- When?
- Why?
- How?
Examples...
- I wonder if...
- Could you tell me more about...
- How does that make you feel?
How to use open-ended questions?
Open-ended questions are invaluable when it comes to stimulating dialogue, inviting feedback, uncovering underlying issues, and generating solutions. They can help you gain insight, clarify expectations, and encourage collaboration during difficult conversations. To ask effective open-ended questions, begin with words such as what, how, why, when, where, or who. Additionally, it's important to avoid leading, biased, or loaded questions that imply a certain answer or judgment. Follow up with probing questions to dig deeper or expand on a topic. Consider using scaling questions to measure progress, satisfaction, or confidence; such as, "On a sacale of 1-10, what is your interest in..." Hypothetical questions can be used to explore alternatives, consequences, or scenarios; while reflective questions can be used to summarize, synthesize, or evaluate what has been discussed.
Module 5: Focusing
Focusing is…
- Intentional
- Practiced
- Staying on topic
- Being fully present
- Respecting others
- Never interrupts
- Disciplined
- Increases engagement
- Provides clarity and direction
- Builds relationships
Objective: You will be able to intentionally focus during pastoral or ministerial counseling.
How to improve focus while listening?
This could be the most challenging area of active listening to master because quite frankly, life happens. It is very common for your mind to wander off of the task at hand during communication with the person that you are helping. We might wander how our children are doing at school today or what we are going to eat for lunch because our stomach JUST reminded us that we are hungry. However, the most common thought that we have while we are listening to the other person is "What am I going to say next?" or "How am I going to respond to that?" Actually we can't have thoughts if we are actively listening…being an active listener in the moment. It is not possible to focus on listening and have outside thoughts. We can however, have thoughts while passive listening, but not while active listening. So, what is the answer to "What am I going to say next?" or "How am I going to respond to that?" The answer is NOTHING! You should be listening right now, not thinking about how to respond. The speakers' job is to open up to you and your job is to focus on listening. That's it! Nothing else! Then, when the speaker has finished, you might paraphrase, reflect, ask a relevent question, or summarize what you heard. You'll know what you need to say because you were listening and not thinking about what to say next. It is trainable, but only if you practice with every conversation that you have and are very intentional about training yourself to be intentionally focused while listening.
Now, let's see what you've learned
Please take this short 10-question quiz. This will help me understand if the message has been presented in a clear, concise and understandable manner. Thank you and God bless you!
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